Hello! In two days I am going to be a college graduate! So exciting! It is one of those milestone moments that you always thought would be so incredible. And now it's here and you are scared that you aren't really prepared to enter the workforce and be a contributing member of society. This is an interesting time of life. I have had wonderful experiences at BYU. I have made some incredible friends. I have also had some of my most difficult experiences. I've learned a lot about myself, particularly in the last year.
Working in the lab has been one of the best experiences that I've had in my life. I found my niche. I belong in the lab. I'm comfortable there but challenged at the same time. I love the people I work with. They are just like me: quirky, slightly (okay, considerably) nerdy, fun, outgoing, etc. I was recently at an end of year lab party with a bunch of people from the lab. One of the professors I've worked with, Dr. Busath, had us all introduce ourselves and state where we were in our academic careers. About half way through he went back and identified all those who were leaving BYU 'empty-handed,' meaning we were still single. Yes, I fall into that category. Which brings me to the other thing that I've learned these last few months of my college career.
It's been a really hard semester in the relationship department. Not that I've had one, mind you, but I about gave up on the male gender completely. Mail bombs and anthrax were heavily discussed but prison didn't seem like too much fun so they were ultimately decided against. I am still learning this semester that: I want someone who will love me the way I am (ie, not someone who makes me feel like I'm a bad person, or someone who makes me feel inadequate or unworthy) but someone who still inspires me to be a better person; I want someone who doesn't let me down, who is there when I need them to be and who cares as much about me as I do for them - I am REALLY tired of being let down repeatedly, forgiving a so-called friend, and watching it happen again and again... enough is enough! These are not immense qualifications. And they aren't things I'm going to settle on. There are other important things too, but those are the ones that I have really learned this semester. I really hope that some day I'll find someone to love me and to be loved by me. If not, I'm going to conquer the world, or cancer (or maybe AIDS), whichever comes first. Maybe I can't have it all. But I really do intend to make a difference in this world, in whatever avenue that the Lord sees fit.
Many thanks to all the friends and family who have supported and loved me. Especially to my parents who have payed for so much, bouyed me up when I didn't think I could go on, and prayed for me. And my Grandma, who let me live with her for two years and also helped pay for my education. To my siblings, who believe in me, especially Scott who spent so many hours editing my horrible papers into masterpieces. That's about it. I love you all. Thanks for being so supportive!
