Today my Mom, Dad, Katie, and Brett are at work and Eric is in bed and I am left alone with my musings. I had a really great time with Brett yesterday. I went Christmas shopping and out to dinner with him. We drove down to Salt Lake and all around. We had a lot of really good conversations. I sure do love that brother of mine. He may have faults but he has such a good heart and I love him for it.
One of our conversations centered on forgiveness. As I've been pondering the things that I said I realize that I am not very good at the things that I preach. I, too, need to forgive some individuals. It is easy to pretend like I have forgiven but the more I've thought about it today, the more that I realized I haven't.
So, I've been studying about it. I read a book about a year ago entitled The Peacegiver. It is a fantastic book and I learned a lot from it. One of the primary points made in the book is about the commandment to forgive. It has made me think and caused me to reconsider my understanding of the principle of forgiveness. I learned that we are commanded to forgive Christ. He has already payed the price for the person who sinned against us. And that price is sufficient. It is infinite and perfect. And if it is not, then it is not sufficient to forgive me my sins. That is why we are required to forgive all people as a prerequisite for our own individual forgiveness. The same Atonement that redeems me has also redeemed the people who wrong me. By saying to Christ that His suffering is insufficient, that I want more (which is essentially what I say when I do not forgive), I preclude myself from the forgiveness wrought by the same Atonement. This is why the Lord says, "Wherefore I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men." (Doctrine and Covenants 64:9-10)
Thus, the commandment to forgive becomes less about forgiveness and more of an invitation to take part in the Atonement of Christ.
And yet, though I understand this principle conceptually, actually implementing it is another story. But I'm working on it. Anyhow, that's what I've been thinking about today. Hope you all have a Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Revelation
I've been thinking a lot about revelation and receiving guidance from the Spirit. And I'm procrastinating studying for a test so I think I'll blog about it :).
I know that prayers are answered how they should be but sometimes it would be nice to get direction instead of just support. It makes logical sense that an answer of 'I love you Kristen. You will make it through this. Do the best you can and you will figure it out.' helps me to grow more individually than a 'you should...' answer. But it would be nice to get direct guidance once in a while. It just doesn't seem that the Lord really works that way for me. I think He does for others. It's also highly possible that I just don't really understand how the Spirit works. Learning how the Spirit speaks seems to be a life long lesson for me.
As a missionary, my mission president (President Bracha) would give us different topics to emphasize in our study every six weeks. During this six weeks we would have a conference where he spoke to us on the topic we'd been studying. On one occasion President Bracha had us study revelation. He asked each missionary to find a scripture that represented how Heavenly Father speaks to them. I struggled with this assignment. I was, at the time, training my second new missionary. I had been out for well over a year. I felt like I should understand the process of revelation much better than I did. During interviews, and before the conference, President Bracha asked me to describe how my revelation had increased since studying this topic, or something to that effect. I answered honestly, hesitantly revealing that I wasn't sure that I had ever really received revelation as a missionary. He told me that he hoped during the conference I would come to understand that I do receive revelation.
I still struggled with the assignment. No scripture seemed to fit. I studied and read and couldn't find anything that seemed right. We were to share these scriptures with each other during the conference. We got to the conference and I still didn't have one that felt right. As the missionaries began to share their scriptures one of them shared a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants section 6. While he was reading my eye went to a different scripture. The Lord, in this section, is speaking to Oliver Cowdery - an early church leader. The Lord says in verse 14, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast ainquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time." I immediately felt the Spirit confirm that I also fell in this category. The Spirit was speaking to me and I was following. If it had not been so, I would not be in the place that I was then.
This was an important lesson for me to learn. It is not necessary for me to be instructed in every matter. In fact, such instruction would be counter-productive to my progression as an individual. I have a good head on my shoulders, I know the commandments of God, and with those tools I can work through just about any problem that is placed in front of me. Sometimes I may want and seek actual direction in my life. I have found that, for me, it is not given often. And I think that is the way that it is supposed to be.
Anyway, I better get back to studying. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the gradual progression. I really do feel like life is making me into a better person. I know that progression is only due to the Atonement of Christ. I'm grateful to go through hard things that make me want to change and be better. It's not fun but I know it's good.
Well, that's what I've been thinking. I'm not even proof reading this so sorry if it doesn't make sense at all. :)
I know that prayers are answered how they should be but sometimes it would be nice to get direction instead of just support. It makes logical sense that an answer of 'I love you Kristen. You will make it through this. Do the best you can and you will figure it out.' helps me to grow more individually than a 'you should...' answer. But it would be nice to get direct guidance once in a while. It just doesn't seem that the Lord really works that way for me. I think He does for others. It's also highly possible that I just don't really understand how the Spirit works. Learning how the Spirit speaks seems to be a life long lesson for me.
As a missionary, my mission president (President Bracha) would give us different topics to emphasize in our study every six weeks. During this six weeks we would have a conference where he spoke to us on the topic we'd been studying. On one occasion President Bracha had us study revelation. He asked each missionary to find a scripture that represented how Heavenly Father speaks to them. I struggled with this assignment. I was, at the time, training my second new missionary. I had been out for well over a year. I felt like I should understand the process of revelation much better than I did. During interviews, and before the conference, President Bracha asked me to describe how my revelation had increased since studying this topic, or something to that effect. I answered honestly, hesitantly revealing that I wasn't sure that I had ever really received revelation as a missionary. He told me that he hoped during the conference I would come to understand that I do receive revelation.
I still struggled with the assignment. No scripture seemed to fit. I studied and read and couldn't find anything that seemed right. We were to share these scriptures with each other during the conference. We got to the conference and I still didn't have one that felt right. As the missionaries began to share their scriptures one of them shared a scripture from Doctrine and Covenants section 6. While he was reading my eye went to a different scripture. The Lord, in this section, is speaking to Oliver Cowdery - an early church leader. The Lord says in verse 14, "Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast ainquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time." I immediately felt the Spirit confirm that I also fell in this category. The Spirit was speaking to me and I was following. If it had not been so, I would not be in the place that I was then.
This was an important lesson for me to learn. It is not necessary for me to be instructed in every matter. In fact, such instruction would be counter-productive to my progression as an individual. I have a good head on my shoulders, I know the commandments of God, and with those tools I can work through just about any problem that is placed in front of me. Sometimes I may want and seek actual direction in my life. I have found that, for me, it is not given often. And I think that is the way that it is supposed to be.
Anyway, I better get back to studying. I am grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the gradual progression. I really do feel like life is making me into a better person. I know that progression is only due to the Atonement of Christ. I'm grateful to go through hard things that make me want to change and be better. It's not fun but I know it's good.
Well, that's what I've been thinking. I'm not even proof reading this so sorry if it doesn't make sense at all. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Post blind date
