So, recently I've been struggling a bit. It seems that I am just not the person that I want to be. And the realization that I continually fall short weighed pretty heavily on me. After talking to a friend and thinking a lot I've come to a few conclusions. You've all probably figured these things out ages ago but some of us have shallower learning curves than others :).
I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm the least perfect person I know. But I am continually trying to be better. I have faith that as I rely on the Atonement and continue trying my best someday I will be the person I want to be. It really is by grace we are saved after all we can do.
And the other thing that I was reminded today is that life is supposed to be happy. Men are that they might have joy. Joy and hope are fruits of the Spirit and are evidence that we are progressing. I'm fairly convinced that we should focus on the positive in life, wherever we find it. I think sometimes we stand before no harsher judge than ourselves. But I do not think those feelings come from God. We are His children and because of that we have divine potential. He knew that we would fail in this life. It's really not a question. But focusing on our faults is damning. It prevents progression. What we focus on we become. So I'm determined to choose happiness and hope.
And lastly, being downhearted is really a sin of ingratitude. I have SO much. It really is incredible how blessed I am. I have family and friends who love me, the opportunity to get an education at an amazing university, a warm home to live in, a nice car to drive, I am a member of the restored Church of Jesus Christ, and I could just keep listening things indefinitely.
Ultimately, it boils down to this. I'm grateful to be who I am and where I am. I have a lot of things to work on. But as I put my faith in the Atonement I can not fail. I will eventually be the person that I want to be. That is the promise and the hope of the Atonement. It will set me at one with my Father in Heaven, who is perfect. It will make me perfect like Him. And it might take from here to eternity. But as long as I don't give up on Him, He won't give up on me. The price that was paid for me was infinite and eternal.
Well, it is time to return to the test... Writing this blog post was much more fun. Sigh, such is life :).
