Flaws

The mid twenties singles in the church have one thing on their minds pretty much all the time. Marriage. Dating. Rejection. Etc. Recent conversation has led me to believe that a lot of people are either looking to fall in love with someone whom they think has no flaws or are trying to find someone who's flaws are bearable and then pursue relationships. But really, I think that both ideologies are wrong.

There are two points here. First, no one is perfect. Every individual is flawed. Everyone makes mistakes and has characteristics that annoy other people. Second, if you approach life looking for everyone's faults you are sure to find them. And if you are actively aware of everyone's flaws it's impossible to "fall" in love. I quote fall because I don't really believe in falling in love. I think that love is a choice. It is the choice to see the best in an individual. It is the choice to encourage and strengthen, lift and cheer. It is the realization that for every one thing that drives you crazy there are thirty that offset it. It is also realizing that these quirks are what make a person who they are. Changing the quirks would change the whole.

Once you've made the choice to love it is hard to unmake, maybe impossible, regardless of whether the affection is returned. That's why it's so scary. Those who choose to love are vulnerable in a way that others are not. However, it is this vulnerability that truly allows one to live. If we didn't face the fear of rejection we would never know the joy of acceptance. To understand the top of the spectrum we have to experience the bottom too.

Home alone on a Friday night blogging to myself about the philosophy of love. Not pathetic at all :). It's been a rough week. I've realized just how many people in this world are willing to sell their birthright for a mess of pottage. Who throw away covenants because they aren't what they want right this very second. And it is so disheartening to watch people throw away something that you want so badly for yourself.

So ultimately it comes down to this: love is not a feeling or an emotion. It's a choice. You don't fall into it and you don't fall out of it. You choose it. You might fall into desire and lust. But not love. Marriage and other relationships based on love do not fail. Not ever.

In that same vein, I don't think that love that is given and unreturned ever fails either. Because giving love isn't about returned affection. It is given to strengthen and bless the other individual. If that happens then it's a success for both parties, even if the feeling is not mutually reciprocated.

Well, that's enough of that for a month or so. :)