Once I killed a spider. A big one.

So once upon a time I lived in Provo with an amazing roommate. One of the things that made said roommate so amazing was that she would kill any and all bugs in the apartment. Mainly spiders. Because, let's face it, spiders are terrifying. And we lived in a basement which, as basements do, got it's fair share of spiders.

So, pretty much, my life was perfect. We occasionally got a spider but the roommate took care of it. Until the roommate went on vacation to Europe... Naturally I was trepidatious about the potential of encountering spiders while she was away. But my home teachers (two handsome young men in a neighboring apartment) macho-ly volunteered to come over at a moments notice to kill any eight-legged creatures seeking to inhabit my home.

Unfortunately, the entitled event occurred at 5:50 AM, slightly too early to call over the home teachers. For some reason I had to be up early. My alarm went off and I jumped out of bed, stripped down, and headed for a visit to the lady's room and subsequent shower. I had no sooner sat down on the throne than I glanced down and saw a HUGE spider five inches from my bare naked foot. I sprang up and ran in to the other room. I briefly considered screaming for anyone who would wake up and come kill it. But I checked my instinct due to my nudity and the time of morning. I took deep breaths and prepared myself for battle.

First, footwear. I needed shoes. Not only shoes, but boots. Oh yes, I have boots. Leather ones with a three inch heel. I hurriedly put them on all the while worrying that the spider would mount a preemptive attack.

Once I had adequate footwear, I grabbed the Raid can conveniently located in my closet. It is important to note that spraying Raid on a large spider does not immediately result in it's death. It actually causes it to run around in aimless, scary circles (remember that scene from Arachnophobia when they shoot the spider with the flame thrower and it runs around? It's kinda like that). So it is important to have a large book on hand to throw at the now disoriented, dying arachnid. Unfortunately there wasn't a large book close. But there was a sunday school manual that I grabbed.

Prepared for battle, I headed into the bathroom. I Raided the heck out of the spider (seriously, it probably would have drowned before the insecticide killed it). When it started to slow down I slammed (well, threw forcefully) the church manual down on it. Then I ran out of the bathroom. About five minutes later I finally was able to get in the shower. Though I left the manual covering the dead carcass until I got home in the afternoon and braved moving the large dead thing to the toilet and a watery grave.

The end.