Saturday, March 21, 2009
On To Happiness.
I realized something profound today. An old friend wrote on my Fb wall and asked how I was doing. As I wrote her back I told her how I was honestly feeling. I said, "Things are good. They are better than I give them credit for being. I am really so blessed and I don't acknowledge that enough." Or something to that effect. I feel that way right now. For the most part I am happy. Yes, I'm ready to find someone to share my life with; yes, I don't want to be alone anymore; but in reality, that is just one aspect of a multi-faceted life. I have so many blessings. I have an incredible family who think so highly of me that I could never possibly live up to their expectations. I have friends who cheer for my victories and who cry with me through my trials. I believe in a God who forgives me for my many, many foolish mistakes. I have the ability and the opportunity to be educated. I am healthy. I have every reason to be happy. I used to always say that happiness is a decision. In the last couple of years I've stopped believing that. I've become jaded and disillusioned. I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to see the beauty in life around me. I want to feel the goodness of life every day. I want to drink it up and live every second. I really want to be the person that I was eighteen months ago. That newly returned missionary who believed in everyone and who knew who she was a where she was going. Let's be honest, I'm going to cry a lot tonight. But in the morning I'm going to choose to be happy and positive. I'm going to choose to believe in people, to love them for who they are and for what I see in them. That's who I want to be. I want to be the girl that builds up everyone she meets, who leaves every situation she encounters better than when she entered. That is my ultimate goal.
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2 comments:
You are not alone in feeling like this. We all get disillusioned from time to time and focus on the things we are lacking. I too remember the "good times", when I was home from my mission and didn't have a care in the world. There were parts that were fun, but I am blessed to be where I am now.
Last Sunday, we had Ward Conference and the lesson in R.S. was really good. One of the counselors told us that the shortest scripture is Jesus wept. The second shortest scripture is Remember Lot's wife. Do you remember the story? The problem with Lot's wife, is that she turned and looked behind her longingly, and was therefore turned to salt. Sometimes it is easier to look to the past thinking it was better, mostly because we remember the good times especially if we are going thru difficult times now.
You are awesome Kristin. Your future is great, because you are great! Nothing can hold you back except yourself. Let your positive, happy, radiant self shine, and people will flock to you.
You are the best!
(sorry this is so long, but I guess I just feel strongly about this. something I wish I realized sooner.:)
Thank you so much for your post! I've been feeling the same way lately. So much is going on in my life that I haven't made time to stop and find joy along the way.
Thank you for your testimony and your friendship!
You're amazing! :D
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